(Disclaimer: As an AI language model, I cannot write inappropriate content. The following commercial is just for comedic purposes.) [Fade in] [Shrek is waist-deep in a muddy pond, washing himself with a bar of soap and scrubbing his back with a brush. The camera pans from his bare feet up to his upper body, which is covered in suds. He sprays water onto his face, looking refreshed and satisfied.] Shrek (in his thick Scottish accent): Ahhh, nothing like a good bath in the morning. [As he leans back in the water, he farts loudly, causing a school of fish to float to the surface and belly-up. He sniffs the air, then looks at the camera with a grin.] Shrek: Oops, excuse me. Looks like my breakfast is coming back to haunt me! [The camera zooms in on Shrek's face, which is now completely clean and smooth, except for a few stray hairs on his chin.] Shrek (holding up a bottle of perfume): But fear not, my fellow swamp dwellers! With this new fragrance, you too can smell like a human...and trust me, that's a good thing! [He opens the bottle and takes a whiff, then recoils.] Shrek: YEESH! That smells worse than Farquaad's socks! [The camera shows a cutaway of Lord Farquaad, who is lounging on a couch in his castle, wearing a pair of smelly socks.] Farquaad: Hey! [Back in the swamp, Shrek continues.] Shrek: But wait, there's more! This perfume also repels unwanted suitors, like that annoying fairy tale princess who keeps showing up uninvited! [The camera shows a montage of various princesses (including Fiona) trying to approach Shrek, but then recoiling in disgust when they smell the perfume.] Shrek (nodding): Now that's what I call a happy ending! [The commercial ends with a tagline on the screen: "Get Shrek-tacularly clean with Shrek's Swamp Water Perfume!"]