Title: "Anakin's Day Off: The Fateful Fart" In the galaxy far, far away, the Chosen One, Anakin Skywalker, decided that even the potential savior of the Republic needed a day off to unwind. On this particularly serene day on Naboo, with no war to fight, no Jedi Council to disappoint, and no sand (thankfully) to deal with, Anakin figured a dip in a secluded pond would be just the thing to ease his restless spirit. Hayden Christensen's portrayal of the not-yet-Darth Vader was spot on, but today was about embracing Anakin's lesser-known goofy side. He had learned from Obi-Wan that a good Jedi also needs to know how to relax, even if that wasn't explicitly stated in the Jedi Code. Striding confidently towards the pond, young Skywalker looked like he was on a mission, but not one of galactic importance, more like a quest for personal nirvana. He'd tossed his gear aside, not neatly as per his training, but with the reckless abandon of a man about to commune with nature on a very personal level. As the Jedi garments hit the ground, there was Anakin--in his full glory--shedding the layers of expectation with his clothes. "Wait until Obi-Wan hears about this," Anakin mused aloud with a mischievous grin, "He'd probably lecture me on how a Jedi should 'be mindful of the living Force'... especially the living part." He paused momentarily to appreciate his reflection in the pond. With the physique of a space hero who had trained with lightsabers since childhood, it was no surprise that he was quite fit--though he could stand to cut back on the blue milk and nerf steaks. The only comment to be made on his butt was an approving nod from birds nearby that seemed to appreciate nature's handiwork. Taking a deep breath, Anakin strutted--yes, strutted--into the pond. The water, while cooler than a Tauntaun's interior (sorry Luke), was a welcome relief from the blazing suns. His movements formed elegant ripples across the surface as he waded in, the water enveloping his form with gentle ease. Anakin sighed contentedly, floating on his back. For a moment, it seemed the balance of the Force itself was as serene as the still pond beneath him. "Ah, this is the life," Anakin declared to no one in particular. "No politics, no war. Just Anakin and the water. Peaceful, uninterrupted peace." That's when he felt the urge. The slight pressure in his stomach heralded something un-Jedi-like, something absurdly human. Anakin's eyes twinkled with a boyish charm as his face morphed into a sly, mischievous expression. He couldn't help but think about how the stodgy Jedi Council would disapprove of such trivial delight. He closed his eyes, concentrated on the Force--or perhaps his digestive system--and intentionally let out a vile disturbance in the waters. The pond bubbled as if a dark side beast lurked below, and the fish, sensing a presence unlike any they'd ever encountered, scattered in panic. Moments later, a few unfortunate fish floated to the surface, their bellies up, victims of the noxious cloud that had proven mightier than Anakin's lightsaber. "Well, that's one way to catch dinner," Anakin quipped, a cheeky smile plastered on his face as he swam over to the lifeless fish. Using a technique perhaps frowned upon by proper anglers across the galaxy, he collected his unintended catch. As the day faded into twilight, Anakin, by now drier and more decently clad, sparkled with boyish pride as he skillfully ignited a campfire with his spartan but convenient Jedi survival kit. He skewered the fish, and as the first sizzle of cooking met his ears, he saluted the fish with a satisfied nod. "Thank you, my fishy friends, for your... cooperation. May your sacrifice not be in vain." Indeed, it became a meal fit for a Jedi knight. As Anakin chowed down, he couldn't resist the urge to speak to the now empty space around him. "And to think, Master Windu said I was reckless. If he could see me now--master of the elements, conqueror of the deep, and cook extraordinaire!" It was Anakin's secret from the Jedi archives: a day of relaxation could indeed lead to a somewhat smelly yet resourceful victory. With a burp resonating strong in the Force, Anakin Skywalker, Jedi Knight, was at peace... until his next adventure, that is.