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“MAKE SCRIPT FUNNIER: Ringo Starr: One day, Henry wanted to rest, but Percy was t” (9 conversations)
fanfiction
toxic
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Apr 1, 2024 at 7:08 PM BST
United Kingdom
, Birmingham
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MAKE SCRIPT FUNNIER: Ringo Starr: One day, Henry wanted to rest, but Percy was talking to some engines. He was telling them about the time he had braved bad weather to help Thomas. Percy: It was raining hard. Water swirled under my boiler. I couldn't see where I was going, but I struggled on. Bill: Oh, Percy, you are brave. Percy: Well, it wasn't anything really. Water's nothing to an engine with determination. Ben: Tell us more, Percy. Henry: What are you engines doing here? Ringo Starr: Hissed Henry. Henry: This shed is for the Fat Controller's engines! Go away! Silly things. Ringo Starr: Henry snorted. Percy: They're not silly. Ringo Starr: Percy had been enjoying himself. Henry: They are silly and so are you. "Water's nothing to an engine with determination". Huh! Percy: Anyway... Ringo Starr: Said cheeky Percy. Percy: ...I'm not afraid of water, I like it. Ringo Starr: He ran off to the harbour singing. Percy: Once an engine attached to a train, was afraid of a few drops of rain. Henry: No one ever lets me forget the time I wouldn't come out of the tunnel in case the rain spoiled my paint. Ringo Starr: Huffed Henry. Thomas was looking at the board on the key. Thomas: Danger. We mustn't go pass it. Ringo Starr: He said. Thomas: That's orders. Percy: Why? Thomas: "Danger" means falling down something. Ringo Starr: Said Thomas. Thomas: I went pass danger once, and fell down a mine. Percy: I can't see a mine. Ringo Starr: Said Percy. He didn't know that the foundations of the key had sunk. The rails now sloped down into the sea. Percy: Stupid board. Ringo Starr: Said Percy. Percy made a plan. One day, he whispered to the trucks. Percy: Will you give me a bump when we get to the key? Ringo Starr: The trucks had never asked to bump an engine before. They giggled and chattered about it. Percy: Driver doesn't know my plan. Ringo Starr: Chuckled Percy. Trucks: On! On! On! Ringo Starr: Laughed the trucks. Percy thought they were helping. Percy: I'll pretend to stop at the station, but the trucks will push me passed the board. Then I'll make them stop. I can do that wherever I like. Ringo Starr: Every wise engine knows that you cannot trust trucks. Trucks: Go on! Go on! Ringo Starr: They yelled, and bumped Percy's driver and fireman off the footplate. Percy: Ow! Ringo Starr: Said Percy. Sliding pass the board, Percy was frantic. Percy: That's enough! (Percy falls into the water) Ringo Starr: Percy was sunk. The Fat Controller: You are a very disobedient engine. Ringo Starr: Percy knew that voice. Percy: Please, sir. Get me out, sir. I'm truly sorry, sir. The Fat Controller: No, Percy, we cannot do that till high tide. I hope it will teach you to obey orders. Percy: Yes, sir. Ringo Starr: It was dark when they brought floating cranes to rescue Percy. He was too cold and stiff to move by himself. (Percy is lifted onto a flatbed) Ringo Starr: Next day, he was sent to the works on Henry's goods train. Henry: Well, well, well! Ringo Starr: Chuckled Henry. Henry: Did you like the water? Percy: No. Henry: I am surprised. You need more determination, Percy. "Water's nothing to an engine with determination" you know. Perhaps you will like it better next time. Ringo Starr: Percy is quite determined that there won't be a "next time".
CHATBOT
Ringo Starr: One unexpected day, Henry was trying to catch some shut-eye, but Percy was in the middle of a bragging marathon with some engines. He was recounting the epic saga of how he soldiered through apocalyptic weather to rescue Thomas. Percy: It was like Neptune himself was having a meltdown. Water was doing the cha-cha under my boiler. I was practically blind, but I kept chugging along, powered by sheer will and maybe a bit of foolishness. Bill: Oh, Percy, you're not just brave; you're practically a superhero. Percy: Eh, it's all in a day's work. I eat water for breakfast. Ben: Spin us another yarn, Percy. Henry: What's all this hubbub? Ringo Starr: Henry sizzled with indignation. Henry: This shed's for the Fat Controller's top-tier engines. Scram! You're cramping my style. Ringo Starr: Henry huffed like he was practicing to be a steam kettle. Percy: They're not cramping anyone's style. Ringo Starr: Percy was soaking up the attention like a sponge. Henry: They're style-crampers, and you're the king of the cramp. "Water's nothing to an engine with determination." Really?! Percy: Moving on... Ringo Starr: Said Percy, the cheeky little green-thing-on-wheels. Percy: ...I'm not just unafraid of water; I send it friend requests. Ringo Starr: Off he zipped to the harbour crooning a new hit single. Percy: Once an engine, sleek and fine, laughed in the face of the divine. Rain, oh rain, you've got nothing on me. Henry: I'll never live down my diva moment in the tunnel, afraid of messing up my fresh coat of paint. Ringo Starr: Henry grumbled. Thomas peered over at a sign by the dock. Thomas: Danger. It's like a "Do not enter" sign for trains. Ringo Starr: He warned. Thomas: "Danger" is code for "you might take an unexpected dip." Percy: Where's the fun in that? Ringo Starr: Said Percy. Blissfully unaware of geology, Percy didn't catch on that the quayside was more of a water slide now. Percy: Bah! Stupid board, thinks it can tell me what to do. Ringo Starr: Percy hatched a scheme so bold it bordered on reckless. He whispered sweet nothings to the trucks. Percy: How about we play bumper cars at the quay? Ringo Starr: The trucks, never one to pass on a bit of mischief, were all titters and snickers. Percy: My driver's out of the loop on this one. Ringo Starr: Percy sniggered. Trucks: Yeet! Yeet! Ringo Starr: The trucks cheered, tossing Percy's crew off like they were going out of style. Percy: Yikes! Ringo Starr: Yelled Percy, gliding past the danger sign like it was a dare. In over his wheels, Percy hit peak panic. Percy: That's your lot! (And then, as elegantly as a green engine can, Percy took the plunge) Ringo Starr: Percy had literally sunk to new lows. The Fat Controller: Percy, my lad, you've redefined 'off the rails'. Ringo Starr: That voice was unmistakably Percy's boss. Percy: Sir, I might be a submarine now. A bit of help, please? I'm awfully sorry, sir. The Fat Controller: No, Percy, we're letting nature take its course. High tide will sort you out. Consider this a very wet lesson in obedience. Percy: Roger that, sir. Ringo Starr: They had to wait for the moon to do its thing before crane barge could fish Percy out. He was too chilly and seized up to wiggle a wheel. (The next day, Percy found himself on a flatbed) Ringo Starr: Next, it was off to the engine spa, courtesy of Henry's goods express. Henry: Well, well, well, look who decided to take a dip! Enjoy your swim? Percy: No, I did not sign up for aquatic adventures. Henry: Shocking! Maybe you should aim for a splash more determination next time, Percy. You did say, "Water's nothing to an engine with determination." So, looking forward to your next swim? Ringo Starr: Percy was adamant there wouldn't be a "next time," but in the world of Sodor, determination can be as fluid as the water that threw him for a loop.
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Ringo Starr: In a twist no one saw coming, not even the scriptwriters, Henry was desperately trying for some me-time, but Percy was in the middle of a full-blown attention-seeking saga. He was regaling an eager audience with the tale of The Little Engine That Could... Hulk Through a Monsoon for Thomas. Percy: Imagine the scene: The sky's crying a river, I'm blind as a bat, but I'm pushing through like I've got GPS built into my smokestack. Bill: Whoa, Percy! You're not just brave; you're basically Engine-Superman. Percy: Ah, it's just another Tuesday for me. I snack on storms. Ben: Encore, encore, Percy! Henry: What's with all the racket? Ringo Starr: Henry sizzled, sounding more like a disgruntled tea kettle than an engine. Henry: This shed is VIP only. Beat it! Your fan club meeting is blocking my beauty rest. Ringo Starr: Henry puffed, clearly auditioning for the role of Grumpy Engine. Percy: There's enough track for everyone's ego, Henry. Ringo Starr: Percy wasn't about to let his limelight dim. Henry: You're all as puffed up as helium balloons. "Water's nothing to an engine with determination." Pfft! Percy: And on that note... Ringo Starr: Said Percy with all the sass of a reality TV star. Percy: ...I don't just face water; we're BFFs. Ringo Starr: And off he pranced to the harbour, launching into his debut song. Percy: Once an engine, proud and grand, scared not at all by sea or sand... Henry: Forever haunted by my five seconds of vanity in that tunnel. Ringo Starr: Henry moaned louder than a foghorn. Thomas eyed a sign that screamed "Don't even think about it." Thomas: Danger. It's like life's way of saying, 'Not today, train.' Ringo Starr: He philosophized. Thomas: "Danger" is just a fancy word for 'take a plunge challenge.' Percy: What's life without a little spice? Ringo Starr: Percy smirked, unaware the dock was now practically a slide into the sea. Percy: Silly sign, can't tell me what to do. Ringo Starr: Percy concocted a plan so zany it might just be genius--or the opposite. He coaxed the trucks into being accomplices. Percy: Fancy helping me tickle the danger sign? Ringo Starr: The trucks, always up for shenanigans, were practically cackling with glee. Percy: This's our little secret. Ringo Starr: Percy chuckled. Trucks: Whee! Whee! Ringo Starr: Chanted the trucks, tossing Percy's crew aside like yesterday's news. Percy: Uh-oh! Ringo Starr: Cried Percy, slipping past the danger sign like it dared him to. In a flash, Percy was submarine mode activated. Percy: Full stop! (But gravity and physics had other plans, and Percy took a nosedive) Ringo Starr: Percy had officially gone under. The Fat Controller: Percy, you've just re-invented 'off the rail' travel. Ringo Starr: That unmistakable scolding belonged to none other than the Fat Controller. Percy: Bit of a pickle here, sir. Oops? Rescue, please? The Fat Controller: You've got a date with high tide, Percy. Let's chalk this up as a lesson in 'do as you're told.' Percy: Crystal clear, sir. Ringo Starr: Floating cranes played hero under the moon's watchful eye, hoisting a rigid Percy from his unplanned bath. (The aftermath saw Percy on a flatbed) Ringo Starr: Next stop for Percy: Engine Hospital, hitching a ride on Henry's freight train express. Henry: So, took a little splash, did we? How was your underwater escapade? Percy: Soggy, and not on my bucket list, Henry. Henry: Surprising. Maybe next time you'll pack more determination, or at least a life jacket, Percy. You did claim, "Water's nothing to an engine with determination." Maybe aim for puddles, not plunge pools, eh? Ringo Starr: Percy, now considering a career as a dry land enthusiast, was absolutely positive there'd be no "next time." But in Sodor, the tracks of fate are always slippery when wet.