**Demon 1:** *(Stretching lazily)* Oh, for Lucifer's Lament, are we seriously doing the pitchfork inventory again? This is mind-numbing. **Demon 2:** *(Rolling its eyes)* Only thing more mind-numbing is the eternal wailing. Hey, speaking of mind-numbing, out of all the Archangels, who do you reckon is the hottest? Michael, Uriel, Remiel, or Gabriel? **Demon 3:** *(Chuckling)* Are we really having this conversation? Fine, I'll bite. Michael's got that whole 'leader of the heavenly host' vibe which is kind of hot, I guess. **Demon 1:** Yeah, but Uriel, with all that light and wisdom... There's something about a smart angel, right? **Demon 2:** *(Snorts)* Smart? Please. It's all about Remiel. Have you seen the way those robes flutter? Drama and style, my friend. Plus, redemption? That's sexy. **Demon 3:** *(In a mocking tone)* Oh, please. Gabriel is the total package. Messenger of God vibes, always knows what's up. Mystery is sexy, don't you know? **Demon 1:** *(Thoughtfully)* True, there's something about knowing secrets that-- **Demon Lord:** *(Suddenly looming over them, voice dripping with disbelief and menace)* What blazes are you imps mumbling about? Archangels? Hot? Have you lost the little minds you have? **Demon 2:** *(Gulps)* It was just a... hypothetical conversation, ya know, for fun. **Demon 3:** *(Nervously giggling)* Yeah, totally not serious. We were just bored and-- **Demon Lord:** *(Snarling)* If I ever catch you lot wasting your torments on such heretical nonsense again, I'll shank your asses myself--and then see how "hot" you find the boiling pits of tar! **Demon 1:** *(Quickly)* Absolutely, your Dreadfulness. Our apologies. It won't happen again. **Demon 2:** *(Mumbling)* Guess that answers the question, then. The hottest being in all existence is clearly our Demon Lord, when pissed... **Demon Lord:** What was that? **Demon 2:** Nothing! Nothing... Just saying we should get back to those pitchforks. **Demon 3:** *(Whispering)* Still think Gabriel's got something... **Demon Lord:** *(Sighing deeply, under their breath)* Maybe I should just shank myself for having to deal with this... **(End Scene)**