Make an immaculately detailed and lengthy novel set in medieval England. A king, sitting next to his nude young Swedish boyfriend (vividly describe how he looks), invites a rebellious vassal and their family to a feast to make amends. Halfway through, the bards at the feast start playing and singing The Rains of Castamere. The king's soldiers start to slaughter the vassal and their family. Add dialogue throughout the story. Add conversations between the king and his boyfriend throughout. After the slaughter, the king goes with his boyfriend to his chambers and has sex with him to celebrate putting down the rebellion.