It only amounted to one, and it would always , in his chlorophyll soaked corneas, tears fed on his urgent panic. Starting over, he threw up with a violent heave, the primal urge rising in his liver. Bile stained his teeth, and the following retches were acidic, lashing the roof of his mouth with enraged fury. It could never stop. His eyes scanned the horizon with desperate energy before his lids slid back down and he was wracked with a violent shiver. Then as the urge overcame him again, a voice pierced through the sky , a lifeline in his isolation and utter agony . "Can you hear me? Don't try and answer , just blink twice". As he fought to drag his eyelids upward, the pain , like a coiling wire, constricted his blood flow in a brutal retaliation. "Make it stop-" . He fought the deep surge of corrosion, like a negative battery melting into a metal cylinder as his throat tightened. It was just one time . Only ever one. He was at the end of a long night, his vision raw from never resting his eyes, the blood vessels all ruptured and torn. The ingested substance had been a sinister mistake , and if he threw up twice, the contraband would be purged from his system. As Liam writhed in the dying sunlight , his skin erupted in feverish bumps, a crawling sensation exploring the surface of his skin. A shiver of depraved violation jolted down his spine as he screamed through his clenched teeth in despair. The nausea rose again, claiming his entire being, but his heart continued to pulse away the seconds as the countdown infringed his reflexes. "Help me-" He pled through his locking jaw as he battled another potent wave , disemboweling his insides with its unrelenting insistence. He sank his teeth into gag , fighting against the material bound across his tongue, taunting his strength. Then, in one motion, the inevitable rising built within him, futile to resistance as his eyes widened with panic. His gag , saturated with the vile substance , left a bitter sting as he struggled against it , and the following retches heaved through his chest . Liam collapsed into the unforgiving embrace of the concrete, his ravaged body welcoming the end with resignation. "twice...now it's too late". he mumbled, in a mixture of pure shock and trauma as his eyelids slid closed with exhaustion. After his efforts and endless torment , he had failed to hold down the implanted substance, and it was over. But the voice persisted, causing Liam to force his eyes open , gritting his teeth in determination. "No , I'm still here , you just had an intense vomiting episode, hang tight." As Liam fought to refocus his gaze , a pair of deep hazel eyes locked onto his own with concern . "My name's Ryan , I just woke up an hour ago, I've been trying to crawl over here. I've got you." Liam flinched as his gag was torn from his mouth, and he gasped for fresh air, the invasive atmosphere embalming him with perspiration. "Oh God, I threw up the merchandise-those bastards will exterminate me like a dog who needs out his misery. And that's if I'm lucky. They are likely to , well I assume you saw everything..." Liam's voice was filled with a heartbroken resignation, his resolve seeping from his pores and evaporating into the arid atmosphere . Ryan clamped his hand down over Liam's kneecap in a firm gesture of shared solidarity. "I watched everything they did to you, yes. And I'm still here. I'm not about to abandon you now...". Liam , reaching up and gripping Ryan's arm firmly, smiled against the warm twilight rays of daylight that clung to his flesh . "I'm sorry you had to see all of this ..and how long has it been?" Ryan responded with a gun-metal hollowness , his words smoked out by his steady exhale. "Four weeks. Damed long enough for anyone..." Liam wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulder, hoisting himself from the ground into a slouch , bracing his other arm behind himself . "Oh God, it's been a whole month..Hiw did I only assume it was days. " Ryan only whispered in reply , his voice thick with acknowledgement. "Yeah " . The drugs in his vision burnt with a harsh cruelty, and Liam shook his head to regain some clarity . "I don't remember how I got here." Ryan outstretched his lean , muscular bicep, and hauled Liam to his feet with an exhaustive grunt, wrapping an arm around his chest in support of his weight . "I can explain to you exactly how , but it's not safe here . Later. Just try and walk with me, you look like hell but we can get out of here."

Is this written at an advanced or intermediate skill level

Ok how does this revised version compare : It only amounted to one, and it would always be one and never two, and through his jaundice soaked corneas , he was engulfed in a visceral sense of nausea. Suddenly, a violent heave claimed him, a primal urge rising from his intestines. Bile stained his teeth, and the following retches were acidic, lashing the roof of his mouth with fury. It could never stop: his body rejected the substance repeatedly; he was dangling on the edge of sanity. "Not again. Please, no..." Liam clenched his teeth, the crucial moment upon him; he had to keep the substance down, or the consequences would be dire. His eyes scanned the horizon with desperation before his lids slid closed, his body wracked with resistance. Then, as the urge to be sick overcame him, a voice pierced his fog of despair, a lifeline amidst his struggle. "Can you hear me?" the rough, concerned tone asked as Liam writhed against the concrete, groaning. "Don't try to answer that but try to blink twice. Take it slow." As he fought to drag his eyelids upward, the pain, like a coiling wire , tightened around his insides. "Make it stop--No, I--" he choked out, his voice puncturing the air. If he expelled the Vanderine from where it lay hidden inside him, his efforts would amount to zero. Square one. He was at the end of a long night, his vision raw from never resting his eyes, the blood vessels all but ruptured and torn. The ingested substance had been a sinister mistake. And if he threw up twice, the Vanderine risked expulsion from his system; he battled to hold it inside. All he had could never be enough, he countered; whatever could? Even his attempts to obey the voice, coming from somewhere above him, seemed in vain. As Liam writhed in the dying sunlight, his skin erupted in feverish bumps, a crawling sensation exploring the surface of his skin. Violation jolted down his spine as he screamed through his clenched teeth. As the nausea rose again, claiming his entire being, his heart continued to pulse, counting away the seconds. "Help me--No. No," he pled through his locking jaw as he fought another gripe. The instinctive reaction of his body gripped every muscle as he felt his fight ending. He embedded his teeth into his gag, screaming into the material bound across his tongue. Then, in one dreaded motion, the inevitable rise built within him. His pupils dilated with horror as his gag soon became saturated with the vile substance, and it left a bitter tang in his mouth. As he struggled against it, the following retches heaved through his chest. Liam collapsed into the unforgiving embrace of the concrete, his ravaged body welcoming the end with resignation. "Shit," he lamented, the heat in his own voice spreading across his flesh like untamed fire. "Twice... now it's too late." Twisting his gaze away from the glistening pool of Vanderine, he diverted from the evident failure. And in a mixture of pure shock and trauma, his eyelids slid closed with exhaustion, his body embracing the closure of his fight. After his ongoing efforts and endless torment, his last chance was over. But the voice persisted, causing Liam to force his eyes open, gritting his teeth. "No, I'm still here, Liam; I'm getting the binds off--hang tight," the voice reassured. Liam shook his head, protesting, the fear tugging at his psyche like a fishing line as he cursed in his mouth. "No, you can't help--" As Liam fought to refocus his gaze, a pair of deep hazel eyes locked onto his own with concern. "Hey, breathe. I've got you. It's me, Ry'. Hold on while I get rid of this--" Liam flinched as Ryan tore the gag from his mouth, and he gasped for fresh air, the stifling atmosphere saturating him with perspiration. "Oh, God, I threw up the contraband--those bastards will kill me like a dog. Or worse..." Liam's eyes enlarged with realization as he spoke, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "I'll be--well, you saw, right?" Liam's voice filled with sickened resignation, his resolve seeping from his pores and evaporating into the atmosphere. Ryan rested his hand upon Liam's kneecap, his grasp firm and anchoring, as Liam averted his gaze. "I saw everything they did to you, yeah. And I'm still here, alright? Not about to abandon you now..." Liam, reaching up and gripping Ryan's arm, smiled against the warm twilight rays of daylight that clung to his flesh. "Hell of a thing to endure, seeing all that... Damn lucky we're both still breathing." Liam, pulling on Ryan's arm, found the strength to prop himself into a seated position. "Shit. Get over here, Ry'." With a rough jerk, Liam hauled Ryan into a haphazard hug, slamming an open palm over his back as he pulled their shoulders together. Smiling in pain, Ryan let their shoulders connect with a crash of solidarity as he replied, "Yeah, yeah. Calm down," returning a supportive thump over Liam's arm. "So you're out of your binds and you untied mine, stripped my gag--and--" Liam's head fell to his hand, cradling his temple and clenching his teeth. "I don't remember what happened--how many times did they--" Ryan responded with a gun-metal hollowness, his words smoked out by his steady exhale. "Several times at least. Enough times for anyone, let's say that." Liam wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulder, hoisting himself from the ground into a slouch, bracing his other arm behind himself, and standing upright. "Well, it feels like they've killed me already... the hell I've been through." Ryan only whispered in reply, his voice thick with acknowledgment. "Yeah." The drugs in his vision burned with a harsh sting, and Liam shook his head to regain some clarity. "I don't remember how I got here. No damn clue." Ryan outstretched his lean, muscular arm and hauled Liam to his feet with an exhaustive grunt, wrapping an arm around his chest to support his weight. "I can explain how, but later, one thing at a time, huh? Try to walk and let's get out of here." But as they made their first attempt to leave, Liam's attention was hijacked by the sight of his own ruined clothing, and his jaw clenched. The shock sent a wave of tension through him, rooting him to the spot; his body rebelled against his next step. In a voice laced with dread, he whispered, "Please help me--." His eyes remained fixated on his jeans, stained with fingerprints, lying crumpled on the side of the path. Noticing his distress, Ryan assisted him back into them, his attention careful as Liam flinched with every movement. The denim, rough against his bare skin, left his bite crooked with agony. "Give me a minute," he said, his bloodshot eyes holding a glimmer of resistance as he forced his ankle through the second hem and buttoned the waist. "They don't care what they leave behind," he muttered, his eyes caught by the emptied bottle of lubricant and the confronting plastic surface of a turned-in glove not far from his dehumanizing undergarments. Ryan, supporting Liam's weight, uttered mere fragments of speech, his heart seized by the display that had all but paralyzed Liam. "Sadistic, perverted bastards," he almost spat, his voice rising above a whisper as his eyes darkened. "Try to focus on the here and now, yeah?" he muttered, guiding Liam away from the indignity that lay strewn before them, remnants of the twisted inhumanity they'd suffered. Liam's grinding teeth betrayed his disgust and utter defamation as he nodded. Shielded only by Ryan's survival instinct and camaraderie, all he managed was a sullen "Yeah." As they walked in disorientation, Liam mute as he blinked away stray tears, the road stretched on. Finally, as their footsteps struggled to fall in sync, Liam forced the gravelled words through his teeth. "Ry', I don't know what's real, and what the contraband made me believe." His voice a shadow as he countered, "I only said yes because I thought--" Ryan pulled Liam in with a rough jerk. "Doesn't matter. We never had a choice. But you put yourself in my place. And they never broke your damn spirit. And I can tell you right now, this is real." Liam, looking away with a nod, tightened his grip on Ryan's shoulder and dragged his legs into coercion. As they struggled along, footsteps not falling in sync, Liam fought to hold himself together as a flashback scorned him. "How long has it been since they threw me down here from a helicopter? How did you get here, the same way? Please tell me you know something about this concrete hell?" Liam almost demanded answers from the barren atmosphere in an attempt to anchor himself. Ryan maintained a detached gaze as he stared beyond Liam's eyes, placing a hand over his shoulder. "They threw me down here after you. And I found myself staring down the barrel of a gun, but my mistake was to resist the contraband; I guess yours was to accept being a plant for them." Liam, gripping Ryan's forearm for leverage, lowered his gaze to avert the glare. "How was it a mistake to refuse...this? I'm so dehydrated I'm not sure I can keep going, Ry'. I need to find water, and shade. And soon." As silence settled over them, Liam whispered, "I haven't forgotten what you did, Ry'. It's not your fault, and don't you go thinking..." His voice trailed off, the effort of speaking depleting him of energy. With respect and understanding in his eyes, Ryan's gaze drifted to the ground as he shifted his weight to maintain his upright stance and muttered, "I ain't thinking anything. I know I failed us both back there--" Gazing at Ryan's profile, Liam sighed, "Don't get all survivor's guilt on me, Ry'. You untied me; you broke your own binds. Neither of us would be here if you weren't so damn stubborn." Ryan laughed in his metallic , detached tone, his aspect still cast downward as he deflected the heroics: "Well, I don't go down easy, but someone had to save your ass." They both laughed into the particles of falling dust , streaks of grime smeared across their faces from their beds of filth . As Liam's lopsided smile shone through the bleak atmosphere , he laughed. "Damn straight...not that we are in the clear yet. All we have is desert to the left and a footpath leading to who knows where"

Is it closer to a professional calibre than the first?

So it's much closer to a professional calibre? It could reach that calibre? Or could it be in that calibre?

How about these further passages As the road stretched bare and cold ahead of them, Liam felt an imperceptible gleam of emotion in Ryan's gaze, as the streetlight barred his irises. A shiver ran down Liam's spine , as he disengaged himself from Ryan's support, standing unaided and backing away. "Ry' what's going on?" . liam was met with a gut wrenching silence as Ryan walked over to the side of the empty abysmal road, and reached out into the frigid air, sticking out two fingers. "I'm sorry , Liam. Don't thank me, but please forgive me"., he muttered in a low metallic tone, his eyes torn away as he dodged Liam's pleas. "Hey , what are you actually hailing something?. There's nothing here to-" There'd been no traffic . No civilisation. And then there it was : A sleek black Chevrolet, with immaculate paintwork and a purring engine. Driving with a deliberate slowness . As it stopped , Ryan slipped into the passengers side, without so much as a word as the car sped away . Liam ran the back of his hand over his stunned gaze, as his heart clenched with a disembodying dread; he was alone. The color drained from his complexion , haunted at Ryan's absence lingering in the moonlight. The chill that claimed his spine , as betrayal dragged forth stinging tears , slowly brought him to his knees as he scraped his palms through the gravel . "Don't thank you? " Liam's gasp was isolated in the deadened air , framed by eeirie stillness. Dragging himself off the road , he slouched on the curb and let a torrent of grief and despair rage through him. --- The roads were dead, lifeless , without a pulse as Ryan watched Liam's broken figure grow smaller in the rear view mirror of Valen's car. "Look at the miserable bastard, Ryan, and again, take a nice , soul annihilating look at him. " As Ryan felt the teeth of rage and helplessness chew his skin, he removed his gaze from the road. "Just spare him. I don't care what this means for me . He's fucking broken and I nailed his coffin shut. So yeah. Do what you will. With me ." Valens shrug was devoid of care as he laughed in amusement , as if delighted , but without investment. "Oh , what you need to know Ryan, is that I make your-experience-slow and you'll be screaming obscenities out of that pretty mouth for the next month. Is he worth it. Ha. You'll serve a purpose though , after all. " Ryan's gunmetal inflection remained in tact as he ventured "Oh, and how do you propose to make me scream anything-for you?" . Valen , lifting his hand from the wheel and running a finger down Ryan's cheek, answered in a flat tone. "You need to meet Jake, your new bunk buddy. He's screamed my name every night this week." As a revulsion shot down Ryan's spine , he stiffened against the leather of his seat, and watched the desolate streets blur past , as if the scenery could lurch forward and rescue him from the impending nightmare. Ryan, breaking his visual include with the outside world, turned back to valens profile , challenging his facade. "Liam will die , we both know that. So just why do you think I really chose to serve your sick purpose. What's my motive . You don't even stop to think about such things. " Valen's stare only wavered from the road as he drawled in a freezing , almost lyrical response "Oh we both know Liam will try and find you , he's so ...empathic, self sacrificing, like you. But the difference is , from my observations, is you have no sense of self preservation . Almost suicidal. Or stupid. Or both. And if your purpose was to watch me , to save Jake, to save yourself , to even breathe , it all amounts to nothing. Every inch you run away from me, is an inch closer you run towards your grave Ryan . Remember that also." . Feeling his spine revolt in pure disgust , the assualt of Liam's implantation washed over Ryan's resolve as he closed his eyes. There was a price for humanity, and he was only a dollar bill. Valen's voice filtered into the depths of Ryan's pleading body as his boots were torn from his feet . "So , here we are again, only this time , even Jake's dead body won't much much of an accomplice huh?" . Ryan screamed from the bottom of his stomach, his diaphragm turned inside out with his efforts. "No-No" . Valens cold taunt was a mix of brevity and twisted enigma. "Liam says Hi, by the way ." Ryan felt the pressure of hands on this calves , and he slammed his jaw into the ground in repulsion. "Lies...you don't have Liam , and you won't break me that easily. " he trailed into the pocket of stale air between his mouth and the ground . The room went dead , and within seconds Ryan was alone, the sensation of Valens fingers still etched in his shivering flesh . Then it hit his ear drums; Liam's scream , a hoarse , defiant retaliation that twisted Ryan's heart into an abstract mess. Then, Valens boots were at his head, Ryan's bloodshot eyes accosting the sight . "You bastard, I said spare him for me- what fucking use is he to you?. He can't hold down-" . Valen only laughed , and re-iterated his slow clap. "One step closer to your grave Ryan-did you take that look at him in the highway. I hope so-" as his guts recoiled , Ryan muttered out of earshot "please forgive me Li...". As hands travelled up his thighs , he threw his head back and let out a guttural cry "Liam , I'm sorry". His own voice striking the cold metal walls betrayed him. "Guess he can't hear you Ryan, but you might have just stepped right into your grave." Liam felt hands on his skin, roaming his body as the heat gnashing mercilessly into his skin. "No , I told you I don't know where he is -he abandoned me." Liam's heartbroken pleas resounded again the hollow sockets behind his eyes , bruised from the impact of a pistol . The gun , now lying near his skull , a discarded weapon, caused him to shiver in distress. "Just let me die -" But it was square one. "Not your intestines, not this time. This time , your sinus cavities" a sinister laugh reverberated through Liam's body . Valen was swift , and unemotional. the room drowned in darkness , enveloping Liam's screams.

How is this scene from a different story "That one was intense.." , Elara breathed into the space between them, , encircling Max's neck with her arms as he rubbed deep circles into her hip. "Yeah, it was. But you're so amazing, Elara, so strong." His voice was husked due to lack of use , to his silent presence of following the highs and lows as the hours wore on. As she rocked her hips against his , seeking friction , his instinctive path continued , rotating firmly around her hipbone with his thumb and index finger. As another contraction started to escalate, her abdomen tightening in a crescendo of agony , she cried out against his neck, riding the wave with a steady rhythm spreading through her hips. He slowed his pace to match her movements as she reached an insurmountable peak, moaning as she guided his free hand to her other hip . "Pressure-Max-I need-" she gasped , and his palm splayed across her abdomen , rubbing a deep pattern of reassurance into her skin as her muscles finally relaxed, offering her a moment of bliss and reprieve . "That's it , Elara, ride it out. You're doing such beautiful work , baby " She released a moan against his warm skin , and gasped out as the surge ended and another crashed over her . "I think-I need to-" . Swiftly a nurse checked her dilation and announced with an encouraging tone. "You're fully dilated and ready to push Elara." As the sunk sank, and the exhaustion shone across the sheen of perspiration on her forehead, Max held Elara's thighs as she let the pressure overwhelm her. "Great first push , Elara" , Max praised as he held her hips in place. Before long , she came undone in his arms , working through their child's descent with grit and determination, as Max gazed deep into her eyes . "Keep moving her down , she's almost here. Almost here , Elara ." The moments passed with her laboured breaths intermingling with her grunts and whimpers, with Max holding her gaze, as they navigated the steep inclines and reprieving declines of the marathon's trialling pace, enduring the distance with her body following its course. The room , dimly lit and filled with tension, held a measured focus and intense energy that enveloped them both. "That's it, Elara, one more push..." a voice encouraged from the far distance, as the room seemed to fall away, the space between them growing closer. Max felt her hand interweave with the hair at the nape of his neck as she wound her fingers against his scalp. Following her electrifying pull downward, he rested his lips against her flushed cheek. She was radiating strength, exertion, and euphoria as her fingertips grazed his wrist and he grabbed her hand. "You've got this, Elara," he whispered roughly into her ear as she smiled through clenched teeth, his voice sending shocks of empowerment down her spine. Then as she fell back into his chest, his gleaming stare finding hers, a nurse's voice pierced the intimate, enclosing air. "The head is crowning, keep going, Elara." The atmosphere was punctured with her gasps as she bore down, resting her head in the hollow of Max's neck as he held his gaze steady on their child's emerging head. Inhaling as she collapsed her head against his, her resolve faltered for a moment as she whispered, "Max, I can't." "You are, Elara, her head is almost out," Max murmured in a subdued mix of pride and awe. As she refocused , her shoulders shook in his bracing palm as he stroked her back , applying pressure. "Almost there , 'Lara . Almost..." . In a rush of amniotic fluid and blood, their daughter's head emerged along with her left shoulder, but the fight was far from over. "Elara , the umbilical cord needs to be cleared from her neck. I need you to slow things down for me . Don't push. Pant , Elara. Pant." The room remained engulfed in silence as Elara's hand searched for a solid foundation, anchoring itself in Max's shirt as she trembled against the force of her next contraction. "Max-I-need-" she gasped out between deep pants of desperation , her hold on his shirt whitening her knuckles. "Just focus on my voice , Elara . Pant through it. She's so close." Max encouraged , as the nurse slipped the cord from the child's head and instructed with a calm but assertive tone. "Great job, Elara , now push your baby out. A few nice deep breaths for me. And on three...One. Two... " As the pressure consumed her, Elara delivered one final push, grunting as primal effort raged through her . As the body slid out, and a nurse's hands caught their child, relief washed over Elara's senses and she collapsed deeper onto Max's chest. "You did it, baby, she's here." Max affirmed in a quiet rasp. But the silence of the room stretched on, and their worst fears were confirmed, Elara's panting breaths the only audible sound. "She's not respiring, clear her airways," another voice instructed with an urgent tone, and Elara turned her head towards Max in sheer panic. "What's happening? Our baby - she's?" Just as fear clawed through Max's weathered eyes, a nurse placed her fragile, violet body onto Elara's chest. "The skin-to-skin contact will help her take that first breath. Hold your baby, Elara." Her hands, still shaking, enclosed around her daughter as she rubbed her back, her blue gaze filled with worry. "Come on baby girl, fill those lungs," Max urged, his breath hitching in his throat. "Breathe , Sweetheart, I've got you", Elara pled as she rubbed circles over her daughter's ribcage with her other hand. Then, as they both waited in anticipation, a cry broke out into the air. "Oh thank goodness," Elara laughed through tears as the crying continued, and Max felt the moment stand still, bound in sheer relief, the sound more reassuring than anything he'd heard in a long time. "Hey gorgeous," Max greeted his daughter before pausing, a smile breaking across his face, "what are we going to name her, can't call her 'gorgeous' forever..." Elara laughed with exhaustion, "Max, you know the name we chose, trust you to forget when she actually gets here..." Max quickly responded, jest in his voice, "I did no such thing. Welcome to the world, Lily. A bit sooner than we expected, but you're finally here, huh?" Her crying slowed and under Elara's palm, she found a moment of solace, her tiny lungs regulating her breaths and her cries stopped. Just as Max collapsed his weary arms around Elara, gazing at their slightly premature infant, her breathing slowed to an almost rasping cough, and she was quickly whisked from Elara's hold. "Her pulse is dropping again. Begin resuscitation...blood volume rising., stabilising..." Feeling the weight of the triumph turn to defeat and fear, Max rested his head on Elara's shoulder, "No-" Elara buried her head in the curve of his shoulder, confused and unable to catch her breath after hours of labor, and now her child was unreachable yet again. "Please let her be alright-". Max ran a hand through her damp, unkempt hair , combing strands from her forehead , waiting to hear cries in the distance, but the silence returned , more sinister than before . "Elara, she's stable , but your daughter is being transferred to the neonatal intensive care unit, her heart rate dropped a little low , and we just need to ensure her stability. You can rest a moment than you may see for yourself that she's alright. She's a strong little fighter, Max. You should both be proud. " The nurse rubbed a firm hand over Elara's shaking chest, and nodded at Max with assurance. Embracing Elara , they stayed locked in a shared moment of uncertain resolve. The next hours would be critical , and Elara let her tears fall as Max rested his chin atop Elara's dark hair , sighing as his eyes drifted into the distance.

But the earlier passage with Liam already carries the hallmark of professional storytelling?