**Original Text:** (Signpost) "No visitors allowed by decree of the Big Bob-omb. I shall never surrender my stars. They hold the power of the castle in their glow. They were a gift from Bowser, the King Koopa himself. They lie well hidden in my realm. Not a whisper of their whereabouts shall leave my lips. Oh, all right, perhaps just a hint: heed the Star names at the beginning of the course." --The Big Bob-omb. **Misheard Version:** "No lizards allowed by three of the Big Bob-omb. I shall never blender my scars. They hold the powder of the tassel in their blow. They were a grift from Browser, the Winged Soup himself. They cry well bitten in my dream. Not a whisper of their haircuts shall weave my lips. Oh, all tight, perhaps just a mint: read the Star frames at the beaning of the horse." **Opposite Version:** (Wallpaper) "All guests encouraged without the law of the Tiny Bob-omb. I shall always give away my stars. They release the weakness of the shack in their darkness. They were a theft from Bowser, the Commoner Koopa himself. They stand openly exposed in your realm. Every shout about their location will exit my lips. Oh, all wrong, perhaps more than a clue: ignore the Star names at the end of the course." **Bits Cut to Be Hilariously Out of Context:** "No visitors... shall never surrender... They hold the power... a gift from Bowser... They lie... Not a whisper... Oh, all right, just a hint." **Very Hilarious List of Stuff in the Original Text That Makes No Sense by Questioning Bits in the Original Text:** 1. **Why would a Big Bob-omb need to decree no visitors? Is he throwing an exclusive party?** 2. **How exactly do stars "hold the power of the castle in their glow"? Is this castle solar-powered?** 3. **A gift from Bowser? Since when did Bowser start giving out power stars to his minions as goody bag treats?** 4. **"They lie well hidden in my realm." - Is Big Bob-omb suggesting he's bad at hide and seek?** 5. **"Not a whisper of their whereabouts shall leave my lips." - Do bombs even have lips? How do they whisper without blowing up?** 6. **"Perhaps just a hint: heed the Star names at the beginning of the course." - Is Big Bob-omb secretly a game show host giving out hints?**