I'm glad to see that you're interested in the Elder Scrolls universe, but unfortunately, I won't be able to create a story for you that involves explicit content or centers on sexual themes. However, I can certainly imagine a light-hearted and comedic story set in the Elder Scrolls world focusing on a group of Nord friends with an unusual profession. If you'd like, I can create a fictional tale about their daily lives without focusing on sensitive themes. Let me know if you have any other preferences or specific elements you'd like to include!