As the vicious tropical sun of Rook Islands beats down on the lush jungle foliage, Jason Brody, the once unassuming tourist turned Ramboesque survivalist, sits perched atop a rocky outcrop, gazing down at a serene pond nestled like a sapphire amid the emerald expanse. His muscles ache from his relentless guerrilla crusade against Vaas and his band of pirates--but for now, he takes a moment of respite. Jason, having shed the blood and grime encrusted vestiges of warfare, stands in his full, unabashed glory. The skin-tight tattoos that snake over his once unmarred Californian golden skin pay testament to his journey through madness and mayhem. He's more sinew and scar tissue than the bro who once sought little more than sun, sand, and sordid memories. The tropical heat had sculpted his body into a taut canvas of lean, battle-hardened muscle, his buttocks like two firm peaches, pale against the bronzed hue of his sun-kissed back. It's a derriere not even Michelangelo could chisel from marble, a comically perfect contradiction to the chaos that forged it. With all the seriousness of a man about to face his destiny, Jason eyes the pond with the focus of a hawk. He bends his knees, his magnificent rear tensing with potential energy--the kind that is usually reserved for sprinting away from explosions or diving for cover. But today, it's different. He breathes deep, his chest expanding with a warrior's spirit, and with the grace of an Olympic diver completely unaware of public decency, Jason Brody cannonballs into the pond, sans clothing, buttocks clenched in righteous fury. The splash is of mythic proportion--water droplets catch the sunlight, casting rainbows as if the sky itself is giggling at his aquatic tomfoolery. Jason emerges, shaking his head in canine-like fashion, water cascading from his drenched locks. As he strokes majestically through the still-troubled waters, he settles into a tranquil float, a stark naked king on a liquid throne. Lying on his back, buoyed by the gentle embrace of the pond, Jason closes his eyes and smiles, the laugh lines at the edges of his ocean-blue eyes more pronounced. He absorbs the simple pleasure of the sun warming his rugged face, while his rear, the source of the magnificent entry, now wades innocuously below the surface. Suddenly, a rumble from the depths of Jason's well-toned abdomen reverberates through the water. A mischievous grin spreads across his face. The fish, unknowing and carefree, continue their aquatic ballet inches from impending doom. Jason understands the power he wields--the result of too many hastily consumed cans of beans, a staple of his guerrilla diet. With premeditated glee, he shifts slightly in the water, positions himself for maximum effect, and releases a biological weapon of his own-- a fart of such magnitude and pungency that the very fish nearby cease their swimming in a cartoonish, frozen-in-time way before floating lifelessly to the surface. The smell is atrocious--a noxious blend of digested tropical fruit and fermented jungle heat. Nevertheless, it has an almost comic potency, confirming in Jason's mind that his gastronomic contributions are as lethal as his combat skills. Giggling at his own irreverence, and with a touch of eco-warrior efficiency, Jason gathers the expired fish--little did he know he'd be fishing with his butt today. With a stash of unwittingly self-sacrificing fish by his side, he strides, still gloriously nude, through the jungle to his makeshift campsite. There, with the satisfaction of a man whose resourcefulness knows no bounds, Jason Brody skewers the fish and sets them over a crackling fire. The aroma of cooking seafood soon overpowers the reminiscence of his earlier aquatic assassination. Plumes of smoke rise into the evening sky as he hums a tune, contemplating whether he's just invented a new method of survival or simply lost his mind to the island's chaos. And there he sits, the accidental fishmonger, half laughing, half pondering the absurdity of his existence amidst the beauty of a world that he would never have known without his very bizarre and belly-laugh-inducing Far Cry adventure.