**Title: Edward's Unintended Comedy Show** *(The scene opens in the engine shed. Edward is sitting there, covered in more cobwebs than an abandoned Halloween store. His driver, Jeff, and fireman, Bob, are playing cards on a makeshift table set upon Edward's tender.)* Jeff (putting down a card): You know, Bob, if we cleaned Edward up, he could actually be a useful engine instead of our card table. Edward (sarcastically): Oh, please, continue to ignore me. I'm just enjoying my retirement early. Did you bring the tea, or am I only good for Go Fish and storage? Bob (laughing): He's got a point, Jeff. Maybe it's about time we actually used him for what he's meant to do. *(Suddenly, Gordon's whistle is heard in the distance, sounding like a bullhorn at a sad trombone convention.)* Gordon (off-screen, struggling): Help! I'm stuck! This hill is steeper than my ego! Edward: Sounds like Gordon's having a bit of a hiccup. Shall we? Jeff: Right. Let's rescue the big guy before he deflates completely. *(Cut to Gordon stuck on the hill, his face a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. Edward puffs up behind him.)* Gordon: It's about time someone showed up! I've been sticking here longer than leftovers in a fridge! Edward (teasingly): Were you trying to recreate the story of "The Little Engine That Could"? Because, mate, you look more like "The Big Engine That Couldn't Even." *(Gordon rolls his eyes as Edward couples up to the goods train.)* Edward: Alright, Jeff. Bob. Give me a push, will you? Let's show Gordon here how it's done. *(With much effort and steam, Edward begins to move the goods train, inch by inch up the hill.)* Gordon (grudgingly): I must admit, that's impressive for an engine who's been doubling as a coffee table. Bob: He's not just a pretty face and a substitute for furniture, you know! *(Finally, they reach the top. Edward is panting but triumphant.)* Edward: Well, Gordon, wasn't that a fun little adventure? Maybe next time you'll respect your elders a bit more, hm? Gordon: Oh, please. I'll be back to pulling express trains while you'll be back to serving as a makeshift game room. *(The engines laugh, the tension diffused. The scene cuts back to the shed, where Edward is once again being used as a table for the card game.)* Edward (smirking): You know, I could get used to this hero business if it wasn't for my incredibly busy schedule as a multifunctional piece of furniture. Jeff: Just enjoy the break, Edward. Besides, it gives Gordon time to work on his hill-climbing technique. Bob: Or find a hill that matches his capabilities--a very, very small one. *(They all laugh as the screen fades to black, the sound of card shuffling and friendly banter filling the air.)* **[The End]**