(Opening shot of Charlie Brown sitting on a bench, looking downhearted.) Charlie Brown: "Sigh...nothing seems to be going my way lately." (Bugs Bunny peeks out from behind a tree, munching on a carrot.) Bugs Bunny: "Hey Chuck, what's up doc?" Charlie Brown: "Oh, just feeling a little down I guess." (Daffy Duck waddles onto the scene.) Daffy Duck: "Well well well, what do we have here?" Bugs Bunny: "Looks like Chuck could use a pick-me-up." Daffy Duck: "Well lucky for him, I've got just the thing. Dickhead Cola!" Charlie Brown: "Dickhead Cola? What's that?" Bugs Bunny: "Only the most refreshing drink around, Chuck." Daffy Duck: "And with a name like Dickhead Cola, you know it's gotta be good!" (Cut to a montage of Charlie Brown, Bugs Bunny, and Daffy Duck joyfully drinking Dickhead Cola, dancing around and having a great time.) Narrator: "Introducing Dickhead Cola - the drink that's as bold and unapologetic as you are. With its smooth, satisfying taste, and a name that says it all, it's the only cola for the true rebel at heart." (Cut back to the trio.) Charlie Brown: "Wow, this is actually really good!" Bugs Bunny: "Told ya it was the real deal, Chuck." Daffy Duck: "And with every sip, you'll feel like the ultimate badass." Charlie Brown: "I think I could use a little badassery in my life." Narrator: "So next time you need a drink that's as uncompromising as you are, reach for a cold, refreshing Dickhead Cola. Available now at your local convenience store." (The trio raises their cans in unison.) Charlie Brown, Bugs Bunny, and Daffy Duck: "To Dickhead Cola! The drink that's not afraid to be itself!"

(Opening shot of John Madden standing in front of a football field.) John Madden: "Folks, let me tell ya something. When I'm looking for a snack, I don't mess around. And that's why I go straight for Asshole Cakes." (Gene Okerlund walks onto the field, holding a microphone.) Gene Okerlund: "John, tell us more about these Asshole Cakes." John Madden: "Well Gene, they're the perfect combination of sweet and savory. Plus, they've got a little extra kick that'll make your taste buds come alive." (Randy Savage enters the scene, looking intense.) Randy Savage: "Ohhhh yeah, brother! And let me tell you, these cakes are as tough and delicious as I am!" (Cut to a montage of John Madden, Gene Okerlund, and Randy Savage enjoying Asshole Cakes, chomping down on them with vigor.) Narrator: "Asshole Cakes - the ultimate snack for those who don't compromise. With its bold, uncompromising flavor, and a name that says it all, it's the only snack for the true badass at heart." (Cut back to the trio.) Gene Okerlund: "So where can we get our hands on these amazing cakes, John?" John Madden: "Well Gene, you can find 'em at your local bakery. And if they don't have 'em, demand 'em! Because once you try an Asshole Cake, you'll never settle for anything else." Randy Savage: "Ooooh yeah! And remember, when it comes to snacks, don't be a loser. Choose Asshole Cakes!" Narrator: "So don't settle for boring snacks. Choose the snack that's as unapologetic as you are. Choose Asshole Cakes. Available now at your local bakery." (The trio raises their cakes in unison.) John Madden, Gene Okerlund, and Randy Savage: "To Asshole Cakes! The snack that's as tough as it is delicious!"

(Opening shot of Ultimate Warrior standing in front of a wrestling ring, flexing his muscles.) Ultimate Warrior: "Wrestling fans, listen up! You know that I believe in pushing yourself to the limits, taking risks, and going for the gold. But you also need to protect yourself - and that's where Greed Insurance comes in." (Cut to a montage of the Ultimate Warrior performing high-flying moves in the ring, while the text "DANGER" flashes on the screen.) Ultimate Warrior (voiceover): "When you're in the ring, there's no room for second-guessing. But when it comes to your health and finances, you can't afford to be reckless. That's why Greed Insurance is the smart choice for every warrior out there." (Cut back to the Ultimate Warrior.) Ultimate Warrior: "With Greed Insurance, you get the protection you need, so you can focus on what really matters - achieving greatness. And the best part? You don't have to sacrifice anything to get it." (Cut to a shot of the Ultimate Warrior holding a Greed Insurance brochure.) Ultimate Warrior: "Whether you're just starting out or you're a seasoned veteran, Greed Insurance has you covered. So don't wait - join the ultimate team today!" Narrator: "Greed Insurance - the only insurance for the true champion at heart. With its unbeatable coverage, competitive rates, and a name that says it all, it's the insurance you need to take on the world." (Cut back to the Ultimate Warrior.) Ultimate Warrior: "So if you want to live like a champion, train like a champion, and be a champion, choose Greed Insurance. Because life is worth fighting for." (Cut to a shot of the Ultimate Warrior standing in the middle of the wrestling ring, arms raised triumphantly.) Ultimate Warrior: "And with Greed Insurance by your side, victory is just a step away!" Narrator: "Sign up for Greed Insurance today, and join the ultimate warrior team. Available at select insurance providers nationwide." (The Ultimate Warrior raises his arms again.) Ultimate Warrior: "Let's do this, warriors!"

(Opening shot of Susie McAllister standing in front of a brightly colored donut shop.) Susie McAllister: "Hey there, foodies! If you're like me, you love a good donut. And let me tell you, the donuts at this place are out of this world!" (Cut to a shot of Susie holding a powdered-sugar covered donut.) Susie McAllister: "But there's one donut that's become my absolute favorite - the Poop Donut. Trust me, it's not what you're thinking!" (Cut to a shot of a Poop Donut - it looks like a regular chocolate donut, but with little swirls of white frosting on top.) Susie McAllister: "The Poop Donut is a chocolate lover's dream. It's moist, it's chewy, and it's got a little hint of sweetness from those white swirls on top." (Cut to a shot of Susie nibbling on a Poop Donut.) Susie McAllister: "But I know what you're thinking - why in the world would they call it a Poop Donut? Well, it turns out that when the donut is fresh out of the oven, those little swirls look like something else entirely." (Cut to a shot of a little girl holding a Poop Donut.) Little girl: "Looks like poop to me!" (Cut back to Susie.) Susie McAllister: "But hey, I say embrace the humor! Life's too short to take everything so seriously. And besides, once you take a bite of this delicious donut, you won't even care what it's called." (Cut to a shot of the Poop Donuts in a display case.) Narrator: "So come on down to this donut shop today and try a Poop Donut for yourself. Because when it comes to flavor, these little guys are the real deal." (Cut back to Susie.) Susie McAllister: "So what are you waiting for? Grab a Poop Donut and enjoy the ride!" Narrator: "Poop Donuts - the donuts that are as fun as they are delicious." (Susie takes a big bite of her Poop Donut.) Susie McAllister: "Yum! You might even say it's the s#!t!" Narrator: "Available now at select donut shops nationwide."

(Opening shot of Bruce Willis sitting in a bar, looking tough.) Bruce Willis: "When I'm drinking a beer, I want it to match my attitude. Bold, fearless, and unapologetic. That's why I drink Rage Beers." (Hulk Hogan enters the bar, flexing his muscles.) Hulk Hogan: "Brother, when I'm looking for a drink to fuel my rage, there's only one choice - Rage Beers!" (Ric Flair walks in, wearing a flashy suit.) Ric Flair: "Woo! You know it, Hulkster. Rage Beers - it's the drink for champions like us." (David Bowie enters the bar, looking cool as ever.) David Bowie: "And you don't have to be a wrestling legend to appreciate the bold flavor of Rage Beers. I, for one, love the smooth, hoppy taste." (Cut to a montage of the four of them enjoying Rage Beers, pounding their fists on the table and cheering.) Narrator: "Rage Beers - the beer that's as bold and uncompromising as you are. With its refreshing taste and a name that says it all, it's the only beer for the true rebel at heart." (Cut back to the foursome.) Bruce Willis: "So what are you waiting for? Join us, and let the rage flow through you with every sip of Rage Beers." Hulk Hogan: "And with every can of Rage Beers, you'll feel like a champion." Ric Flair: "Woo! I can testify to that!" David Bowie: "So next time you're looking for a beer that's not afraid to stand out, grab a cold, refreshing Rage Beer." Narrator: "Rage Beers - available now at select bars and convenience stores nationwide. Drink the rage, be the rage." (The foursome cheers their beers.) Bruce Willis, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and David Bowie: "To Rage Beers! The beer that's not afraid to go all out!"

I'm Nathan Drake I'm treasure-bound I'm on an adventure that can't be found I'm searching high I'm searching low I'm looking for the city made of gold Take on me, take me where I cannot see Taking risks, living dangerously Take on me, I'll do what I have to do To uncover what's hidden and find the treasure that's new I'm scaling cliffs I'm dodging traps I'm dodging bullets and setting off maps I'm keeping up I'm moving fast I'm chased by enemies from the past Take on me, take me where I cannot see Taking risks, living dangerously Take on me, I'll do what I have to do To uncover what's hidden and find the treasure that's new I'm facing danger I'm facing fear I'm always testing what I hold dear I'm taking risks And making moves I'm on a journey I cannot lose Take on me, take me where I cannot see Taking risks, living dangerously Take on me, I'll do what I have to do To uncover what's hidden and find the treasure that's new

(Opening shot of Paul McCartney walking into an eerie, dimly-lit shopping mall.) Paul McCartney: "Whoa, what is this place?" (Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson emerge from the shadows.) Elvis Presley: "Welcome to the Corruption Mall, Paul." Michael Jackson: "Where you can find everything your black heart desires." (Cut to a montage of the trio browsing through the stores, looking devious and mischievous.) Paul McCartney (voiceover): "From designer knock-offs and shady deals to downright illegal items, the Corruption Mall has it all." Elvis Presley (voiceover): "And the best part? No one asks questions." Michael Jackson (voiceover): "It's a safe haven for the darkest desires." (Cut back to the trio.) Paul McCartney: "But isn't this kind of...illegal?" Elvis Presley: "Only if you get caught, man." Michael Jackson: "And with the best security in the business, that's not likely to happen." Narrator: "Corruption Mall - the ultimate destination for those who live outside the law. With its dark, edgy atmosphere and an endless selection of illicit goods, it's the only mall for true outlaws." (Cut to a shot of the trio walking out of the mall, their arms full of suspicious-looking packages.) Paul McCartney: "Well, that was certainly an experience." Elvis Presley: "And just think of all the money we'll make selling these goods on the black market." Michael Jackson: "Or we could just keep them for ourselves. After all, it's all about indulging your darkest desires." Narrator: "So come on down to the Corruption Mall today, and discover the thrill that comes with living outside the law. Available in select locations nationwide." (The trio laughs menacingly as they walk away.)