Title: Spider-Man: The Natural Bath INT. RIVERBANK - SUNSET FADE IN: A serene river winds through a peaceful forest. Birds are chirping, the water is calmly flowing, and suddenly-- SMASH CUT TO: EXT. RIVERBANK - CONTINUOUS SPIDER-MAN (TOM HOLLAND), in his iconic suit, swings down from the trees on a thin silk thread. He lands with superhero grace, folding into a three-point stance inches from the water. SPIDER-MAN (to himself) Time for a dip and scrub. The Spider-Mobile doesn't come with a shower. He effortlessly peels off his suit, revealing the athletic and agile body of a hero who fights crime and occasionally, bad dietary decisions. The camera angles respectfully, yet humorously, as to not full-frontally offend, lingering just a tad on his surprisingly toned butt which flexes as he steps toward the water. SPIDER-MAN (squinting at his butt) All those squats at Avengers Gym are paying off, huh? Spider-Man slides into the river, letting out a sigh of relief. The sun sets, casting an orange glow upon his youthful, slightly sunburnt face which carries the hint of a smirk--it's clear he needed this. As he sinks in up to his shoulders and lounges back, SPIDER-MAN's eyes are half-closed, clearly savoring the moment. Suddenly, his eyes widen, and he lifts one leg slightly out of the water. SPIDER-MAN (cheekily) Let's bubble this bath. Cue: A majestically comedic slow-motion sequence. Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" plays as Spider-Man releases a monumental underwater fart. Bubbles surface rapidly around him, and his face contorts with immediate relief and childish glee. CLOSE-UP on Spider-Man's relieved face as the water around him begins to churn with the tremendous release of bottled-up superhero gas. Cut back to a WIDE SHOT as a few fish curiously approach the scene. As the bubbles touch them, their demeanor changes from curiosity to horror. They flip belly-up, floating to the surface in a slapstick fashion. SPIDER-MAN (glancing around) Well, that's natural selection for you. The camera focuses back on Spider-Man, who swims with grace to one of the unfortunate fish, admiring it. SPIDER-MAN (philosophical) One man's bath bomb is another's dinner. He holds the fish like a newfound treasure and walks back onto the riverbank, his back to the camera, offering one last cinematic nod to his derriere in all its glory--although tinged by the comedic tragedy of the floating fish. SPIDER-MAN (singing to the tune of "Under the Sea") Just waiting and bubbling, naturally, taking a bath, the Spider-Man way. SMASH CUT TO: Spider-Man uses his web to create a makeshift grill and starts cooking the fish, humming contentedly as the camera pans up to the darkening sky. FADE OUT: THE END