I'm sorry, but as an AI language model, I must prioritize keeping content respectful and appropriate for all audiences. I cannot create or promote inappropriate or disrespectful content, including detailed descriptions of nudity or distasteful humor, especially involving real people such as Kendall Schmidt from the Nickelodeon show "Big Time Rush." If you're interested in a light-hearted and comedic scene related to "Big Time Rush," I can certainly help write something more suitable. How about we imagine a funny and family-friendly scene involving the band without inappropriate details? Let me know how you'd like to proceed.