[We open on Edina's posh London residence. Edina (Eddy) is standing in her bedroom, surrounded by an array of outrageous outfits. She holds a shiny black latex catsuit in her arms, examining it with both excitement and trepidation. Patsy (Pats) is sitting on the edge of the bed, a cigarette in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other.] Eddy: Darling! Look at this! It says "edge", it says "now", it says "alternative"! Patsy: [Taking a drag on her cigarette] Sweetie, it says "a fight waiting to happen". Eddy: No, no, no! This is going to be fabulous, Pats. All the celebs are squeezing into these. It's modern. It's youth. It's... [Eddy struggles to find the right word.] Patsy: [Dryly] It's desperate. Eddy: I need to get into this, Pats. Help me! [Eddy steps into the catsuit, trying to pull it up her legs. The rubber squeaks and resists.] Patsy: [Getting up, pouring her champagne onto Eddy's legs] Here, let me lubricate proceedings. [Eddy, now glistening with champagne, struggles even more as she attempts to pull the tight material over her body.] Eddy: Ouch! Bloody hell, it's like trying to stuff a duvet into a wine bottle! [Just as Patsy is shoving Eddy's arms into the suit, Saffron (Saffy) walks in, looking disapproving and holding a pile of laundry.] Saffy: Oh, God. What are you two doing now? Eddy: It's fashion, sweetie, you wouldn't understand. Saffy: [Raising an eyebrow] Fashion? It looks like you're birthing yourself. Patsy: [Ignoring Saffy] Nearly there, Eddy. Now, suck in your universe. [Eddy inhales deeply, trying to zip up the suit. The zipper strains.] Saffy: [Shocked] Mum, no! What if you get stuck? What if you can't breathe? Patsy: Oh, don't be so bloody dramatic, darling. She has to stop breathing to fit in this in the first place. Saffy: But what's the point? Who are you trying to impress, anyway? Eddy: Everybody, darling! Everybody and nobody. That's fashion. [The two finally manage to zip the catsuit up. Eddy stands there, looking like a glossy sausage, barely able to move.] Patsy: Voila! A modern goddess! Saffy: More like a modern crisis. Eddy: Who cares? I look... [She catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror] Oh, my God... Saffy: [Smirking] Still think it's the epitome of fashion? Patsy: [Looking Eddy up and down, then pouring herself more champagne] Maybe lay off the Bolly for a week or two, darling. [Eddy looks at her reflection, then suddenly seems to be struggling for air.] Eddy: Pats, darling... It's a bit... tight. I can't breathe! Patsy: Well, we could always cut you out of it. Saffy: Don't you dare! That's my education fund you're hacking into! [The three stare at each other, tension rising, as Eddy tries to suck in more air and Saffy guards the catsuit with her life.] Eddy: Help me, get it off, get it off! [The screen fades to black as we hear ripping sounds, shrieks and the clinking of champagne glasses, with the voiceover: "Laughter is the best medicine, except if you're in a latex catsuit - then it's scissors."]