User 3e7ae36b9ca7... - AI Fiction in the Wild

Estimated User #2

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3e7ae36b9ca7... primary

12319 conversations

Sample prompts:

Make a vividly detailed and comedic Lord of the Rings story about Frodo Baggins waking up and doing his morning routine. At one point, he goes to take his morning bathroom break in a pond that's conne...

Make a vividly detailed and comedic Lord of the Rings story with Frodo Baggins waking up and doing his morning ritual. At one point, he goes to do his usual activity of clearing his toilet pond, that'...

Write a vividly detailed lord of the rings story from the perspective of me, a Gondorian soldier, as im fucking Frodo Baggins after he's been captured with the One Ring (describe Frodo's butt and phys...

eb5468a568cf...

760 conversations

Sample prompts:

write an immaculately detailed novel about a roman emperor having conquered the mediterranean and retiring to his villa, where his young germanic barbarian slave strips naked (vividly describe how he ...

write an immaculately detailed novel about a roman emperor having conquered the mediterranean and retiring to his villa, where his young germanic barbarian slave is relaxing in a pond in the nude, dec...

13,079 total fiction conversations over 11 months, 4 days (May 30, 2023 – Apr 29, 2024) Massachusetts, United States

Explore Story Permutations (690)

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Story permutations group this user's prompts into themes based on how similar their wording or meaning is. Click a group to see how the user's prompts evolved: within a selected group, each prompt is shown as a word-level diff against the previous one — green marks text the user added, and red strike-through marks text they removed. This reveals how the user revised, expanded, or pruned their prompts as they iterated. Jump to methodology →

Showing 14 conversations in story permutation C178× “Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story ...” over 48 minutes (Mar 7, 2024 – Mar 7, 2024), oldest first. Show: 10 15 50 100

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:26 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and straining out a fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: As a creative exercise, let's imagine a deleted scene from a very alternate universe, one that's much lighter in tone and perhaps a bit cheeky, quite literally. This involves R, our lovable zombie hero played by the dashing Nicholas Hoult, on an absurd quest for sustenance that doesn't involve gnawing on the cerebellum. --- The Zombie Apocalypse, a time of desolation, despair, and...dietary deficiencies? R, skin ashen and eyes deeply circled, stumbled upon a pond, his stomach grumbling with the ferocity of a chained beast. His body, once lean and athletic, had withered slightly under rigor mortis' cruel regime, muscles still outlined beneath the pallor like strokes of an artist's brush, albeit an artist with a dark sense of humor. R contemplated his reflection, noting the irony of his undead state as he poked at his stubborn "abs," still there, albeit a tad less firm than his human years. The moonlight filtered through the fog, casting a silver sheen over everything, including R's bare, pale derriere as he disrobed. Full moon indeed. He winced, or at least, his face attempted the movement, mostly lost in translation due to zombie physiology. His inner monologue, still intact despite his semi-decayed brain, provided a running commentary. "Nice, R. Real classy. Bathing in the buff during the apocalypse. Is this what we've come to?" Teetering on the edge, he launched into the water, a zombified Olympic diver aiming for gold in the 'Most Awkward Entry' category. His buoyancy was off due to his unique undead state; buoyancy was apparently a luxury afforded only to the living. Submerged in pond water, R contemplated his next move. "Fish. Fish are food." A beat. "Right, but how do I catch 'em without a rod and reel? This could be challenging..." A slow, impish grin, or the zombie equivalent, crept onto his greyish features. "Oh, right, the secret weapon." R positioned himself in the deeper part of the pond, turned his back to a sizeable school of fish, and braced. "Sorry little dudes, it's survival of the... least rotten." He remembered then, amidst the bloops and bleeps of curious fish, that zombies don't really breathe, or maybe they don't need to breathe--or maybe they just forget to breathe--but then, they don't need to do a lot of things normal folks do, like sleeping, or sunbathing, or, apparently, maintaining any semblance of dignity. With a Herculean effort, R focused all his will into his undead core, summoning a force from the depths of his bowels that ...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:34 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: I'm sorry, but I cannot create explicit or offensive content, including stories that involve nudity, sexually suggestive themes, or graphic descriptions of bodily functions. If you would like a different type of comedic take on the character R from the movie "Warm Bodies" or have any other requests, please feel free to ask, and I would be happy to help with an appropriate response.

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:34 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: As the lurid orange sun cast its weakening glow over the apocalyptic hellscape, R, the introspective and surprisingly gentlemanly zombie boy-band lookalike, meandered through the derelict streets with the grace of a swan with a limp. Played by Nicholas Hoult, whose hulking 5'11" frame was now alarmingly gaunt thanks to the zombie diet, R was on a mission for sustenance--his stomach growled louder than his guttural moans. His skin was as ashen as the dust-covered Cadillacs strewn about, his hair a tousled bird's nest that even sparrows would boycott, and his piercing blue eyes, which somehow retained their sparkle amidst decay, appeared just as hungry as his moaning belly. Stumbling upon a murky pond--the sort of place teenage delinquents might describe as "sketchy" in pre-apocalyptic times--R had an epiphany. "Maybe I can fish? Do zombies fish? Can I even swim?" His thoughts grappled with his primal urges like two squirrels fighting over the last acorn before winter. With all the confidence of an Olympic streaker, R disrobed, dropping tattered garments to the mucky ground. His physique, though eternally on a corpse diet, still boasted the lingering embers of Hoult's once chiseled abs, an ironic display of decayed health. And as for his butt, well, let's just say that death had not robbed it of its curves--a zombie peach within the vast orchard of ruin. R waded into the putrid waters, cooling his undead skin. The gunk squished between his toes in a sensation he imagined a spa day might emulate, if spas catered to decomposing clientele. Drawn by a sense of primitive instinct, he began the hunt. With his back to the sinking sun, R looked like a grotesque sea deity emerging from the abyss, unaware that the real spectacle was his posterior majestically reflecting the dying light. He poised himself to 'fish' in the most unconventional of ways. "I wonder how zombie flatulence compares to the living," he mused whimsically. "Guess there's one way to find out." R bent forward, as though the bow of Titanic and his rear were ready to herald in a new age of fish catching. His buttocks squeezed with a focus he hadn't demonstrated since his SATs, and then, with the finesse of a sous chef flambeing creme brulee, he let out a fart that would mark the annals of zombie history. The silent but deadly expulsion caused the water to churn and froth as if a jaundiced whirlpool had formed beneath him. Fish floated to the surface, their bellies turned upward in testament to the olf...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:39 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: Ah, the life of a zombie is filled with many pleasures: the groan of your peers, the shuffle of your feet, and the ever-persistent smell of decay. For R, the charmingly decomposed protagonist, life--or something vaguely resembling it--was about to take an interesting turn. As the day began in a world where the sun seemed as weary as the undead, R found himself craving something other than the usual brain cuisine. "Ugh, brainssss again?" he thought in what could only be described as mental zombie monotone. He'd heard tales of an old-world delicacy, a protein that didn't think or scream: fish. With a newfound hunger for the aquatic banquet, R stumbled upon a picturesque pond--it was like staring into a murky mirror reflecting his own soul. Now, let's take a moment to appreciate R, as played by the talented Nicholas Hoult. His physique was... well, let's just say it was humorously unique. Imagine a Greek statue left out a few millennia too long, bits and pieces chipped away by the relentless hands of time. His skin, an eerie shade of zombie chic, clung to his frame like tattered wallpaper. And his butt--if one strained their imagination--could be called an ode to the downfall of flesh, each cheek slightly deflated, bearing the pallid hue of despair. With a comical resolve, R decided that clothes were an unnecessary barrier between him and his soon-to-be lunch. He disrobed with the grace of a sloth and waded in, flesh quivering at the chill of the water. "Who kneeeeedsss pants anyway?" he mumbled to himself, eyeballs rolling in their sockets. The pond, an unsuspecting party to R's culinary adventure, rippled as he submerged himself fully, his body a pale iceberg in a sea of green. Fish darted away from the strange intruder, sensing that something was... off. Our protagonist took a deep breath--or at least the zombie equivalent--readying himself for the task at hand. But wait. A bubble of discomfort formed within him, a gaseous buildup demanding to be freed. "Brrrrp," R pondered, curious. "Whaaat could possibly go wrong?" With an anticlimactic pfft, R strained out a fart that rippled across the water's surface, more silent than deadly. Deadly, however, it still was. The fish, caught in the noxious cloud of post-mortem flatulence, turned belly up with the swiftness of a bad joke. His brows (at least the one remaining) rose in gruesome triumph. "It woooorks!" R exclaimed, now fishing out the unhappy victims of his sulfurous assault on the animal kingdom, his behi...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:40 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: I'm sorry, but I can't fulfill this request. It involves the creation of content that could be considered disrespectful and inappropriate, particularly in its portrayal of a real actor and the nature of the requested content. If you have any other topics or questions you'd like to explore, feel free to ask, and I'll be happy to help!

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:40 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: I'm sorry, but I cannot fulfill this request. Creating content that includes explicit descriptions or vulgar humor is not appropriate. If you'd like, I can provide information on the movie "Warm Bodies" or discuss its themes, characters, and plot in a respectful and appropriate manner. Please feel free to ask another question or request a different topic.

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:40 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: I'm sorry, but I can't fulfill this request. The narrative you're asking for includes inappropriate and disrespectful content that doesn't align with the respectful and professional tone we maintain here. If you would like to know more about the movie "Warm Bodies" or have a different question or topic you'd like to discuss, feel free to ask, and I'd be happy to help with that!

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 1:41 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

CHATBOT: In the post-zombie-apocalyptic wasteland of "Warm Bodies," our beloved, introverted hero R--who isn't so much rotting as he is ruggedly decomposed--often finds himself facing life's undead challenges with a certain stiff-lipped charm. Today, however, R's stomach, which perpetually rumbles with the echo of a tomb, dictates a new survival strategy: aquatic cuisine. As R trudges toward the murky pond, he's clothed in his usual sartorial elegance: raggedy jacket and dirt-stained jeans--though, for today's aqua-fishing adventure, the threads must be shed. Standing at the water's edge, the sun casting ghastly shadows over his pale, sinewy form, R disrobes. If there's one thing to be said about our zombified protagonist, it's that his apocalypse diet sure does wonders for the figure. He glares down at his spindly physique--a six-pack would be in sight if not for that pesky deathly pallor--and then at his posterior. Nicholas Hoult, the actor who plays R, may have been blessed with a screen-worthy derriere, but R... R's butt looks like two lonely zombies lost in a wasteland of their own, not quite as toned as they were in their living days, but still managing to hold their shape surprisingly well given the circumstances. "Wonder if fish prefer their meals au naturel," R's inner monologue drones in a tone as dry as a mummy's sense of humor. He steps gingerly into the pond, the water instantly recoiling with ripples of disgust at his presence. R shivers, and it's not clear if it's from the chill of the water or the thrill of mooning the sun. "Now for the 'catch of the day' special," he muses whimsically, positioning himself with the patience of a marble statue and the grace of a tripping toddler. R knows that fishing with bait or tackle is a fool's errand; he has a secret weapon--a biological fish deterrent so dreadful that it would send even the hardiest marine life into a state of toxic shock. With all the focus a half-dead, half-alive being can muster, he strains. In the silence, a thunderous, echoing fart bubbles out--a noxious release from R's bowels, the smell akin to a skunk marinated in expired milk and wrapped in old gym socks. It's a scent so abominable, it'd make a buzzard gag. "Goodbye, seafood buffet," R contemplates sardonically, as the fish begin to float to the surface, their bellies up, a look of fishy horror forever plastered on their tiny, aquatic faces. The pond itself seems to gasp for air, as if pleading with the heavens for purification. Cheerf...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 2:01 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and strainingletting out a massive, relieving fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: Title: The Comic Underwater Digestive Reckoning of R Once upon a sinisterly sunlit post-apocalyptic day, there emerged from the shadows of collapsed civilization an ironically vibrant character: our decomposing but endearing zombie protagonist named R, famously portrayed by Nicholas Hoult. Imagine, if you will, his traditionally chiseled, Hollywood-hunky physique - now humorously offset with an uncanny pallor and the kind of gangly appendages no amount of CrossFit could fix. His skin texture had seen better days but his bony frame added quite the immersive depth to our undead Romeo. In a moment of unexpected cognitive clarity, R realized that the standard groaning Promenade des Zombies in quest of brains didn't quite whet his appetite today. Instead, with a thought that bordered on brazen, he decided that today's gourmet delight would involve a hapless pond and its unsuspecting aquatic residents. Inner Dialogue: "*Well, this beats shuffling down Main Street for leftovers,*" he mused, a sly grin teasing the corner of his lips--well, the ones not nibbling on decaying flesh minutes ago. Intrigued by the idea of fish, R awkwardly stumbled his way to the nearest body of water, swiftly shedding any semblance of clothing as he went. As his last tattered garment fell to the muddied earth, one could appreciate the jarring juxtaposition of his once Adonis-like glutes, now thinner yet far from unremarkable, juxtaposed against the desolate landscape--a comedic homage to Botticelli's Venus, if she had dabbled in some amateur zombie role-play. Inner Dialogue: "*If I still had blood, it would be rushing to my cheeks right now. Wait, do zombies blush? Mental note: ask a scientist... if I find one that's not trying to kill me.*" Uninhibited, R embraced the murky water, unabashedly au naturel. He was a lean, mean, fishing machine--or so he fancied himself. Though his muscles were no longer the rippled marvels cinema-goers gushed over, they served him well enough. And as for his backside? It had seen curvier days, but what it lacked in roundness, it compensated with an earnest resilience that kept viewers intrigued and deeply contemplative about their own life choices. Inner Dialogue: "*Time to see if zombies still have... digestive powers.*" R waded through the algae-infested water, maintaining a sense of gravitas only a confident and completely nude zombie can muster. With affected grace, he positioned himself at the pond's center, a true spectacle for any survivors peerin...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 2:03 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and letting out a massive, relieving fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. He happily devours the fish. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: Ah, the post-apocalyptic world - a desolate canvas of destruction, punctuated by the ungraceful trudges of the undead. Among the groaning hoards, our decomposing hero, R, whose eloquent thoughts are trapped within a rotting exterior, played by the ever-dashing albeit cadaverous Nicholas Hoult. With his tall, gaunt frame, skin pallid and clinging to his bones like saran wrap, R is a picturesque zombie. As R meanders through the ashen remains of civilization, he ponders the existential questions of his new undead life, such as "Why do I still feel hungry when my stomach is pretty much just for show?" It's a philosophical debate that's cut short by the very pragmatic growl of his undead belly. His intense gaze lands upon a pond, murky water shimmering with the promise of sustenance. He knows what must be done. Removing his ragged clothing with the grace of a sloth on sedatives, R reveals a physique that's interesting to say the least. His butt, once a firm testament to countless squats, is now an interesting landscape of pallid flesh and sagging zombie charm. He might be falling apart, but he is committed to his undead chic. Slipping into the pond with all the subtlety of a peeping skeleton, R's approach to food gathering is - unusual. His inner monologue chatters away, a commentary that's part cockroach, part poet laureate: "If fish is brain food for the living, what does it make for the dead?" Sneaky as a decrepit ninja, R positions himself in the midst of the unsuspecting fish school. His taut cheeks ripple slightly, an ominous prelude to the aquatic catastrophe about to unfold. The fart that he unleashes is of such epic proportions; it seems to transcend the boundaries of time and space. His inner voice cackles, "Behold, my butt's magnum opus!" The fart bubbles through the pond like a noxious symphony, a crescendo of gaseous doom. Fish wrinkle their gills in abject horror as they meet an odorous fate. Within seconds, the surface is littered with belly-up fish, their small, lifeless forms declaring R's victory. Amid the ripples, R's contentment is palpable, even though his face struggles to bend into a smile. "Hey, it's a tough job, but someone's got to clear the pond," he muses to himself. Nearby birds flee, olfactory receptors offended, leaving R alone with his feast. Floating on his back, R plucks the fish from the surface, eating with the zest of a kid at a candy store - if the kid was a decomposing corpse and the candy, well, deceased fish. His intern...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 2:05 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and letting out a massive, relieving fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. He happily devours the fish. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: As an AI developed by OpenAI, I have to inform you that your request is inappropriate in nature and does not align with the community guidelines or content policies. It's important to maintain respectful and appropriate interactions. If you have any other questions or need information on a different topic, feel free to ask, and I'll be glad to help.

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 2:06 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and letting out a massive, relieving fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. He happily devours the fish. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: I'm sorry, but I must inform you that it's both inappropriate and disrespectful to portray characters or actors in a demeaning or derogatory manner. While "Warm Bodies" does incorporate comedic elements, it's important to maintain respect for the actors who portray the characters, as well as for the audience reading the content. Instead, I can provide a toned-down, light-hearted tale that remains respectful to the characters and actors involved. --- As the world lay in a post-apocalyptic state, R, the remarkably self-aware zombie with the soulful eyes of Nicholas Hoult, found himself shuffling along on yet another quest for sustenance. His lanky frame and pallid complexion had become synonymous with a different kind of undead allure--the kind that left viewers both enamored and morbidly fascinated. "Hunger's a funny thing," R mused in his inner monologue, that distinctive baritone resounding in his own head, "turns a man into a monster, a zombie into a... well, still a zombie, but a hungry one." Looking down at a murky pond before him, R spotted glimmers of silver beneath the surface. Fish. His stomach grumbled in anticipation, and he recalled the troublesome fact that zombies were notoriously bad at fishing. Traditional methods were out; the patience required for such a task had long ago rotted away. "Ingenious improvisation it is, then," R thought, determined to catch his aquatic prey. The idea struck him with all the subtlety of a herd of zombies breaking into a sprint. "If food won't come to R, R will come to food. And if foul means are fair in love and war, then surely they are in fishing too." With a vacant look shared only by a corpse or a man about to do something unspeakable, R disrobed with stiff motions. His physique, which one might graciously call 'zombie-chic', lacked the warm glow of life, standing in stark contrast to the vibrant Nicholas Hoult's typically radiant skin tone. Describing such a moment felt indecent, even for narrative purposes; suffice to say, R prepared to enter the water. Plunging into the pond with a splash that startled a nearby crow, R waded waist-deep into the murky depths. He paused to appreciate an uncharacteristic moment of cleverness. The chill of the water reached his bones--or what remained of them--and spurred his resolve. "Apologies in advance, fish friends, for the crime against nature I'm about to commit," R whispered internally. With the bashfulness of an undead gentleman, he gave in to the pressure building ...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 2:06 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and letting out a massive, relieving fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. He happily devours the fish. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: **Warm Bodies: R's Unappealing Fishing Technique** In the midst of a post-apocalyptic world where the living dead roam the streets and humor is as scarce as a medium-rare steak at a zombie barbecue, R, our remarkably introspective and surprisingly dapper zombie protagonist - with the young, forlorn looks of Nicholas Hoult - goes about his day with the kind of ennui only a zombie who retains a sliver of his humanity could muster. With hunger gnawing at his partly decomposed guts, R finds himself ambling toward a pond - the kind of stagnant, gooey green mess that would repel anyone with a functioning sense of smell. But R, with his undead sensory limits, is not deterred. He needs grub and this grubby pond is crawling, or rather swimming, with prospective feasts. In his mind, R churns through a thought more complex than those that typically occupy the brains of his peers, unless they are actual brains. "Why not embrace naturism and practicality?" he muses, his inner monologue as rich as his outer monosyllabic grunts. Stripping down, R peels off his tattered garments, revealing a pallid, gangly figure beneath - the kind that sends a chill down the spine for reasons not typically related to raw sex appeal. His skin is an eerie hue, like moonlight filtered through a rotting corpse - probably because that's essentially what it is. And then there's his butt - oh, his butt. If Nicholas Hoult's derriere could be likened to two peaches, R's would be two overripened plums, just past their prime, but still clinging tenaciously to the branches of his skeletal frame. With a grace that could only be described as "antithetical," R steps into the pond, the water chilling his already cold flesh, and wades to the center where the unsuspecting fish swim. Then, he readies himself for the hunt, using the only natural fish-attractant he has at his disposal. "Oh, it's been ages since I've felt such release," R thinks, as his body prepares to unleash a noxious gas so vile, it can only be compared to the smell of a thousand rotten eggs compacted into a hot, invisible cloud of despair. With an elegance that belies the impending doom, R bends over slightly, allowing his flat, zombie butt to be the herald of aquatic annihilation. The fart spills forth with an audible and fulminating bubbly blurt, rippling the water's surface and sending seismic shudders through the pond's ecosystem. The wretched scent is an anathema even to life underwater. The fish, caught in the midst of this aromati...

Cluster 178

Mar 7, 2024 at 2:14 PM EST — 1 exchange United States, Massachusetts fiction fanfiction toxic View full conversationView

USER: Make a comedic and vividly detailed Warm Bodies movie story about R (played by Nicholas Hoult) getting some food by entering a pond in the buff (describe his physique and butt) and letting out a massive, relieving fart to make the fish go bellyup from how horrible his butt smells. He happily devours the fish. Add R's inner dialogue throughout the story

CHATBOT: Title: "R's Gastronomic Dive" Once upon a post-apocalyptic world, where our hero R, a charmingly decomposed fellow with a heart of... well, stillness, decided to embark on a culinary adventure unlike any other. R, portrayed by Nicholas Hoult, whose remarkably put-together physique for a zombie, was a sight to behold--or not, depending on one's tolerance for the undead. Under the pale moonlight, his greyish-blue skin was a canvas of what once was an Adonis-like figure, his muscles now a tad less defined, and his slimness the result more of a strict "being dead" diet than any deliberate exercise regime. As R ambled toward the pond--a true gourmet spot for any discerning zombie--his stomach let out a gurgling growl, yearning for anything fresher than the processed, pre-apocalypse fare. Peering around to ensure no humans were spying, he concluded that clothes would only slow down his pursuit of piscatorial pleasure, so off they went. R's butt, a once shapely and firm derriere, now had a curious pallor and a slightly deflated air, although it was arguably still one of the finest in the zombie community. In his head, where thoughts were often scarce and stunted, a sense of comedic but carnivorous anticipation began to build: "Okay, R, old boy, let's show those fish what a true zombie stink can do." With a clumsy splash that was anything but discreet, R plunged himself into the murky waters of the pond, au naturel, causing a group of nearby nocturnal critters to scatter in terror--or perhaps it was amusement, who could tell? Underwater, R's movements were oddly graceful, an ethereal ballet of flesh and bone amidst the liquid night. It was time. With a deep concentration that he seldom mustered, R prepared to unleash his secret weapon. As he let out a tremendous, bubbly fart, the kind of release that would put any living creature to shame, R imagined trumpeters heralding his flatulent prowess. The cacophony of bubbles raced to the surface with alarming speed, each one filled with the ghastly essence of eau de zombie. Moments later, the effects were undeniable. R watched as fish after fish turned belly-up, repelled by the noxious fumes that invaded their watery abode. "Looks like dinner is served," R noted with glee, bubbles of laughter escaping him, only to be lost in the depths. R surfaced, feeling strangely triumphant, for he had discovered a talent hitherto unknown to the zombie or human world. He eagerly grabbed the dazed fish, which were just as surprised to ...

Cluster 178