CHATBOT: [CC: >:i] ALL RIGHT YOU PUNY CHILDREN. [CC: >:i] I GUESS WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS SOMETHING INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT. [CC: >:i] THAT IS, WHICH NEWSCHOOL DOCTOR IN THE SHOW "DOCTOR WHO" IS INDEED THE BEST, AND THEREFORE RULES OVER ALL THE OTHERS. [CC: >:i] I, CALIBORN, HAVE ORCHESTRATED THIS MEANINGLESS ARGUMENT SIMPLY TO PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL, HOW SUPERIOR MY OPINIONS ARE TO YOUR INFERIOR MINDS. [CA: caliborn for cod sakes] [CA: lets at least pretend youre not a complete tool and actually have a proper discussion about it] [TG: Yo, stranger things have happened.] [TG: Maybe Caliborn will actually admit when he's wrong for once?] [CC: >:i] I WILL NEVER BE WRONG IN THIS DISCUSSION, FOR I POSSESS THE WISDOM OF ALL KNOWLEDGE OF THIS SHOW. [GT: Come off it chaps! Surely we can come together and calmly share our thoughts on the merits of the various Doctors.] [CA: alright] [CA: my favorite newschool doctor will always be the 10th doctor david tennent] [CA: hes witty, charming and not afraid to be a leader in dire situations] [TG: I'm gonna have to roll with the eleventh on this one.] [TG: Matt Smith really nailed the whole Doctor vibe, dude had style and the ability to make you laugh and cry all in one scene.] [GT: Cheerio fellas, I must admit I have a penchant for the 12th Doctor, portrayed by Peter Capaldi.] [CA: oh i see] [CA: what do you like most about capaldi, jake?] [GT: Well Karkat, his portrayal of the Doctor had a profound depth to it, and his stellar acting really gave life to the complex and often darker aspects of the character.] [TG: Those are some fair points, not gonna lie.] [CC: >:i] YOU ALL ARE CLEARLY OUT OF YOUR MINDS. THE ONLY OBVIOUSLY CORRECT ANSWER IS THE 9TH DOCTOR! [CA: excuse me but what] [TG: Uhm, no offense dude, but he was around for 1 season. We barely got to know the guy.] [CC: >:i] EXACTLY, FOOL! IF ONE IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO ONLY NEED ONE SEASON TO MAKE A CRYSTAL CLEAR IMPRESSION, THEN HE MUST CLEARLY BE SUPERIOR TO THE REST. [CC: >:i] NEED I SAY MORE? [CA: yeah you need to say a lot more because thats a terrible argument] [GT: While I respect your opinion Caliborn, Christopher Eccleston was definitely a skilled actor and excellent in his tenure as the Doctor, but the others have just had more time to grow and evolve in the role.] [TG: Seriously, pick a better hill to die on.] [CC: >:i] SILENCE, YOU INFERIOR MORTALS. [CC: >:i] NEXT, YOU WILL SAY THAT YOUR PRECIOUS DAVID TENNANT WAS ACTUALLY A DECENT DOCTOR. [CA: yeah, because he is] [T...

CHATBOT: uu: ALRIGHT, LISTEN uP, YOU UNIMAGINABLE FOOLS! CG: OH GOD, WHAT NOW? uu: I, CALIBORN. HAVE GATHERED YOu ALL. TO DECLARE SOMETHING OF uTMOST IMPORTANCE. GT: Jinkies, what's the occasion old sport? TT: Let me guess. You've devised a new, even more convoluted and pointless method of tormenting us and you're here to boast about it? uu: NOT THIS TIME, DIRK! ALLOW ME TO ANNOUNCE! THAT I HAVE, uNDENIABLY, LEFT BEHIND MY OLD BELITTLEMENT PLANS. CG: LIKE THAT'S GOING TO LAST. uu: ANYWAY! I'VE RECENTLY BECOME INTRIGUINGLY INVESTED IN THE FICTIONAL HUuMAN ORATOR "DOCTOR WHO". AND I WOULD LIKE TO CONFER WITH YOu ALL. AND EStABLISH THAT THE TENTH DOCTOR. IS THE BESt ITTERATION. CG: WOW, JUST. NO. HAVE YOU BEEN HUFFING YOUR OWN FUMES AGAIN? THE NINTH DOCTOR WAS WAY BETTER. HE WAS TOUGH, AND BOLD, AND STRICTLY BUSINESS. GT: I don't know chaps, I've always been a supporter of the eleventh Doctor! His quirkiness and catchphrases like "Bowties are cool" always made me chuckle! uu: AHA! HOW STEREOtYPICAL. LEAVE IT TO JAKE ENGLISH THIS FOOL!^ TT: I'm not about to weigh in on this inane debate of subjective preferences, but the 12th Doctor had his moments. CG: HEY! ONLY DUMBCRAPS LIKE YOU WOULD HAVE THE WRONG OPINION ABOUT SOMETHING AS UNCONTROVERSIAL AS WHO'S THE BEST DOCTOR. GT: Back off, Karkat. You can have your opinions and I can have mine. TT: Just to be clear though: we're talking about which Doctor was the "best" and not which one was the most "powerful"? Because those are definitely different things. CG: WHAT A WIENER SHOWTIME WE'RE HAVING HERE. COMMENTING ON SEMANTICS NOW? uu: REMAIN FOCUSED, YOU INCOHERENT MUMBLERS! PAY YOUR RESPECTS TO THE TARt! YOU KNOW, TEN! THE ONE WITH THE ABSOLUTELY EXtRAORDINARY HAIR! GT: Well the tenth doctor was quite dashing but I still stick to my guns on the eleventh. TT: Don't know why I'm getting dragged into this, but I'll argue in favor of the twelfth doctor. He was intense, yet vulnerable. He was philosophical, yet ruthless. He was a diamond in a series of decreasingly charismatic doctors. No offense to fans of the one who wore the fez. CG: FINE, I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ALL THIS NONSENSE. I'M LEAVING. * caligulasAquarium [CA] has left the chat * uu: THIS DISCORD SESSION ALMOST ENDED WITH A REMARKABLE CONCLUSION! BUT YOUR BRAINS CAN'T HANDLE such A WONDERfUL ACHIEVEMENT. GT: It's always fun to have a friendly debate, Caliborn! TT: I don't think he knows the meaning of the word "friendly." * undyingUmbrage [uu] has left the chat * GT: ...

CHATBOT: uu: KhOROShO, SLUShAITE, VY NEVOOBRAZIMYE DURAKI! CG: O BOG, ChTO SEIChAS? uu: Ia, KALIBORN. SOBRAL VAS VSEKh. ChTOBY ZAIaVIT' O ChEM-TO KRAINE VAZhNOM. GT: Bozhe, kakoe sobytie, staryi priiatel'? TT: Pozvol' mne predpolozhit'. Ty pridumal novyi, eshche bolee zaputannyi i bessmyslennyi sposob muchit' nas i teper' sobiraesh'sia khvastat'sia etim? uu: NE V ETOT RAZ, DIRK! POZVOLIaITE OB'IaVIT'! ChTO Ia, BEZuSLOVNO, OTKAZALSIa OT MOIKh STARYKh PLANOV UNIZhENIIa. CG: KAK BUDTO ETO ZADERZhITSIa DOLGO. uu: TAK ILI INAChE! Ia NEDAVNO STAL PORAZITEL'NO ZAINTERESOVAN FIKTIVNYM ChELOVEChESKIM ORATOROM "DOKTOR KTO". I KhOChU POGOVORIT' S VAMI VSEMI. I uTVERZhDAT', ChTO DESIaTYI DOKTOR. ETO LUChShAIa VERSIIa. CG: VAU, PROSTO. NET. RASSASYVAETE LI VY SVOI SOBSTVENNYE PARY SNOVA? DEVIaTYI DOKTOR BYL GORAZDO LUChShE. ON BYL ZhESTKIM, SMELYM I STROGO ZA DELO. GT: Ne znaiu, druz'ia, ia vsegda byl storonnikom odinnadtsatogo doktora! Ego prichudlivost' i krylatye frazy tipa "Babochkovye galstuki kruty" vsegda zastavliali menia khikhikat'! uu: AKhA! KAK STEREOtiPIChNO. OSTAV'TE ETO DZhEIKA ENGLISA, ETOGO DURAKA!^ TT: Ia ne sobiraius' vstupat' v etu debatu o sub'ektivnykh predpochteniiakh, no dvenadtsatyi doktor imel svoi momenty. CG: EI! TOL'KO NEUMNITsY, TAKIE KAK VY, MOGUT OSTAT'SIa PRI NEPRAVIL'NOM MNENII O ChEM-TO TAKOM BEZSPORNOM, KAK LUChShII DOKTOR. GT: Ne bud' nastyrnym, Karkat. U tebia mogut byt' svoi mneniia, i u menia mogut byt' moi. TT: Khotia, chtoby bylo iasno: my govorim o tom, kakoi doktor byl "luchshim", a ne o tom, kakoi byl "samym mogushchestvennym"? Potomu chto eto opredelenno raznye veshchi. CG: KAKOE GLUPOE ShOUTAIM MY ZDES' IMEEM. TEPER' KOMMENTIRUEM SEMANTIKU? uu: OSTAVAITES' SOSREDOTOChENNYMI, VY NESVIaZNYE BORMOTUNY! OTDAITE DOLZhNOE TORt! ZNAETE, DESIaTOMU! TOT, U KOTOROGO BYLI ABSOLIuTNO ISKLIuChITEL'NYE VOLOSY! GT: Nu desiatyi doktor byl dovol'no elegantnym, no ia vse eshche nastaivaiu na svoem odinnadtsatom. TT: Ne znaiu, zachem menia v eto vtiagivaiut, no ia skazhu v pol'zu dvenadtsatogo doktora. On byl intensivnym, no uiazvimym. On byl filosofskim, no besposhchadnym. On byl almazom sredi vse menee kharizmatichnykh doktorov. Bez obid dlia fanatov togo, kto nosil fesku. CG: LADNO, U MENIa NET VREMENI NA VSE ETI ChEPUKhI. Ia UKhOZhU. * caligulasAquarium [CA] pokinul chat * uu: ETOT DISKORD-SEANS EDVA NE ZAKONChILSIa NEVEROIaTNYM ZAKLIuChENIEM! NO VAShI MOZGI NE SPOSOBNY VOSPRINIaT' TAKOE ZAMEChATEL'NOE DOSTIZhENIE. GT: Vsegda priiatno provesti dru...